


keep watch for me

by yekijan



Category: Naruto
Genre: Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Nightmares, naruto's emotional trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24267565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yekijan/pseuds/yekijan
Summary: "they’ve shared an apartment for almost two years. their cohabitance is commonplace now. it used to be the kind of dream considered only when naruto was too exhausted to keep his box of sasuke-related impossibilities shut, and it is so routine now that if naruto shows up to ichiraku alone, teuchi-san packs up an extra order to-go even when naruto forgets to ask.there are a lot of sasuke-related impossibilities coming true, lately."
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 14
Kudos: 153





	keep watch for me

maybe tomorrow will force naruto to regret this. maybe when he wakes alone, stretching out the moment before consciousness for too long, he’ll only remember this as a dream too real for comfort. 

for now, sasuke is resting with his head pillowed on naruto’s chest, his ear pressed right up against naruto’s heart. he looks younger when he sleeps. it’s easier to forget that they’ve just barely become adults with sasuke’s mangekyou sharingan whirling. sometimes, it feels like twenty years have gone by in the blink of an eye. 

most of the time, it feels as if each year of their lives has been a century. naruto is an old man, for a ninja. a full twenty-three years old. 

he feels horribly young right now. he’s never held anyone as they sleep, never woken up to a warm weight on his chest, never had his heart beat fast like this with his mind still steeped in a sleepy contentment. 

they’re tucked under two layers of blankets. naruto likes to sleep with the window open. he always leaves the rickety ceiling fan on. the wind is always the first thing he feels as he wakes up. 

sasuke’s feet are freezing, but the rest of his skin runs hot. naruto would be overheating if not for the cool air on his face. one of sasuke’s arms is splayed out, tucked under the pillow on the empty side of the bed. the other one reaches upwards, palm curled gently in the space between naruto’s neck and his shoulder. 

he can feel sasuke breathing, even, slow exhales puffed out against naruto’s skin. 

naruto takes a deep breath and sasuke rises and falls with his chest. 

naruto has to concentrate to push down the impulse to squeeze sasuke tight, to wrap his arms around his waist and pull sasuke firmly inside his chest and never let him out. he rests his palms flat against the sheets, too nervous to touch. 

________________

they’ve shared an apartment for almost two years. their cohabitance is commonplace now. it used to be the kind of dream considered only when naruto was too exhausted to keep his box of sasuke-related impossibilities shut, and it is so routine now that if naruto shows up to ichiraku alone, teuchi-san packs up an extra order to-go even when naruto forgets to ask.

there are a lot of sasuke-related impossibilities coming true, lately. 

naruto has to pause chopping the onion on the cutting board to press his hands onto the counter and take some deep breaths. he can’t think about the night before without the air rushing out of lungs. he’s pretty sure his face is embarrassingly red. 

he’s honestly not sure if it was a dream or not. naruto had drifted to sleep against his will. the heavy weight of a sleeping sasuke sprawled across his chest, the steady rise and fall of his breathing - it had calmed something in naruto he hadn’t even known was raging. he’d chased after sasuke for so long that the current reality is hard to believe when sasuke’s not right in front of him. 

still, sasuke had been gone in the morning. 

naruto loosens his fingers. his knuckles have gone white. it hurts to unclench the joints. he shakes his wrists out before picking back up the knife. 

there’s a reason he kept the box shut, all those years. naruto’s an idealist at heart, but he’s not stupid. he knows he can change people’s minds, and if it turns out it’s not their minds but the world that’s at fault, he knows he can change the world, if it comes to it. 

something as unknown to him as whatever it is that settles in his stomach when he sees sasuke - naruto’s not dumb enough to chase after it when he doesn’t even know what it is, no matter how bad he wants it. 

naruto’s lived alone for as long as he can remember. he wonders sometimes if there are things that everyone else, everyone who grew up with someone to come home to, knows that he doesn’t. maybe that’s why it hurts so much, seeing sasuke come in the front door, his clothes sticking to his skin. 

his face is flushed just a little bit, the tops of his cheeks stained pink. it must be cold outside. 

he looks right at naruto, and there’s a pleased twitch of an expression that crosses his face. another impossibility. 

“are you making omelettes?” sasuke asks, still standing at the door, kicking off his shoes. naruto looks down at the cutting board. the onion is in so many different sizes, it looks like it’s the first time he’s ever held a knife. he feels ashamed to call himself a ninja. 

“i want tomato in mine.” sasuke says, right next to his ear, and naruto jumps, almost slicing his finger. 

“fuck off, teme. who said i’m cooking for you, huh? what am i, your wife?” 

ah. naruto regrets that as soon as it comes out of his mouth. but sasuke looks - amused. he’s amused. 

“might as well be,” sasuke calls, turning his back to naruto as he walks over to his room. “sure felt like it last night.” 

naruto chokes. 

________________

naruto can’t stop thinking about it. he lies on the couch for a bit after lunch, stretched out with his arms and legs flopped all over the place. he usually takes a nap in the afternoon, but he’d slept so well last night that he’s not even sleepy at this point. 

neither of them have brought anything up. despite sasuke’s attempt at smoothness in the morning, it’s not just naruto that’s being weird. he knows he should just suck it up. in a battle of emotional availability, naruto’s the clear winner. or at least he should be. 

except. he’s nervous. he’s allowed to be, isn’t he? it’s scary!

sakura, who is clearly biased, does not agree with his evaluation of his emotional prowess. 

“you’re being a coward.” she says, plainly, stuffing her face with the leftover food from lunch. 

“i let you come into my home, feed you my food, all just to hear you call me a coward, sakura-chan?” 

sakura glares at him. “you begged me to come over, knowing i have a sixteen hour shift tonight, and bribed me with food that sasuke cooked.” 

“okay, well, let’s not get caught up in the details here.” 

“in that case,” sakura takes a long sip of her tea. “sasuke lives with you and he wasn’t even forced into doing it. you forced the council to not only fully pardon sasuke, but also to give him an apartment for free with utilities fully covered and a fucking meal stipend, and the next day sasuke moved into your place.” 

“sakura-chan,” naruto says, seriously. “sasuke has a lot of trauma. he didn’t want to live alone. i’m not going to read things into it that aren’t there.” 

“you just told me that he climbed into your bed at night and fell asleep on top of you.” 

naruto rubs his chin thoughtfully, “yeah, i just don’t understand why he wouldn’t ask to share a bed sooner, if that was something that helped.” 

sakura lets her head fall into her hands. “naruto. baby.” 

“sakura. baby.” naruto leans back to lace his hands behind his neck. “what? do you think i kick in my sleep or something? i heard shikamaru saying something like that about temari the other day. i could see that i guess, although sasuke doesn’t seem like the ty-” 

“naruto- i- you- “ sakura tries. “sasuke,” she begins again, before dragging a hand over her face. she puts her hands down on the table firmly. 

“naruto. you and sasuke,” she says with conviction, “are both really. messed up.” she stops talking and looks at him meaningfully. naruto does not catch the meaning. 

“okay, and? what else is new?” 

sakura doesn’t respond for a long moment. naruto looks over to find her leaned forward, staring at him intensely, like he’s a wart she’s having a hard time removing. 

sakura sighs loudly when naruto meets her eyes, collapsing back into the chair. “you know this is the fourth sasuke-related emergency lunch we’ve had in the past two weeks. ino’s getting a little pissed that i keep ditching our dates to come listen to your whiny bullshit.” 

“hey! who’re you calling whiny?” 

“oh, look at that,” sakura looks down at absolutely nothing, and then looks back up at naruto. “the hospital says i have to go now. good luck with sasuke and your emotional trauma!”

“thanks, sakura-chan,” naruto grins, flipping over onto his side as sakura packs up her things. “have fun at the hospital! hope you don’t have to pull a shuriken out of anybody’s asshole tonight :)” 

sakura doesn’t even bother flipping him off as she leaves. not once has she had an ass-shuriken free shift. 

________________

sasuke’s a little weird at dinner. the weirdest thing being that sasuke had suggested making ramen. naruto, being a man of wisdom, had not questioned sasuke on the motive behind the ramen before the ramen had arrived at its destination. 

now they were sitting on the floor, two bowls of really excellent ramen empty in front of them. sasuke’s sitting right next to him. he’s close enough that if naruto stretches his shoulder a bit, he brushes sasuke’s shoulder. 

“sasuke,” naruto starts, curiousity winning over now that the ramen was safely digested. “why’d you wanna make ramen tonight?”

“it’s not like i hate it.” sasuke says, softly. he’s wearing an old t-shirt that’s definitely naruto’s, judging on the giant cartoon frog gracing the front, and it hangs a little loose on his shoulders. it’s humid, and sasuke’s hair looks even fluffier than usual. he’s got one leg stretched out, and the other is pulled up to his chest so that sasuke can rest his elbow on his knee. his cheek is pressed into his hand, and he’s facing naruto, and he’s so close and it’s way, way too much. 

“oh! okay. just wondering.” quick save. sasuke won’t stop looking at him, even when naruto pointedly looks anywhere but at him. 

“naruto.” sasuke’s voice is just as soft as before. he looks - confused? or maybe - maybe he looks a little nervous. “what do you remember about last night?” 

“what? it was just - what do you mean what do i remember, i remember everything! why would i forget something?” 

sasuke is quiet. naruto knows he’s breathing too fast. 

“naruto - how did it start? tell me.” sasuke’s hand is resting on naruto’s shoulder, all of a sudden. it’s getting harder to breathe. sasuke waits for a long moment. naruto can feel the tension building in sasuke the longer he stays silent. then finally: 

“naruto, look at me.” 

naruto looks. 

sasuke presses his forehead to naruto’s, and takes a deep breath, and naruto feels air rush into his lungs as he breaths with him. one, two, six, seven breaths, and then-

“it’s okay.” sasuke’s so close naruto feels his jaw moving with the words, and then sasuke’s standing up and holding out a hand to naruto, still on the floor. “let’s go to bed.” 

________________

sometimes naruto gets kinda jittery. it’s one of those things that would make sakura say things like “this why we don’t teach six-year-olds how to kill people anymore, naruto,” if naruto ever told her about it, except he’s been like this for as long as he can remember. 

it’s not something that he can describe well. it feels like the air in his lungs can’t wait to get back out. he wants to run and run and run until he crashes into a wall at full speed. he wants to lay down on the ground and have something crush him into the earth. he doesn’t know how to satisfy it most of the time. 

sparring is one of the only things that works. he only really spars with sasuke and sakura, but he knows sakura holds back when they spar. naruto thinks he could take her hits, but he doesn’t know how to make her annoyed enough that she’ll let go. 

he can get under sasuke’s skin just by stepping into his line of sight. 

they mostly only use taijutsu, nowadays. it’s more like wrestling than anything else. each time he lands a kick on sasuke and dances back from his rebound, his lungs feel lighter than air. each time sasuke pins him flat on his back with enough force to drive him a foot into the ground, naruto’s mind goes almost blissfully blank. 

he’d passed out like that, one day. probably about a week ago. he hadn’t been sleeping well - his mind would keep running and running no matter how much he exhausted himself during the day, and he’d wake up feeling like he hadn’t slept at all. 

after the third time he’d snapped at sasuke for leaving his shit all over the place, sasuke’d given him a strange look, and then naruto had watched the pieces click together in sasuke’s head. he was forcibly dragged to the training grounds. sasuke proceeded to completely beat the shit out of him. he’d knocked him to the ground so many times naruto could barely catch his breath, and then finally sasuke had pinned him down with a knee on his chest and his hands holding down his elbows. he was staring straight down at naruto, looking right into his eyes, and naruto had taken one, two, three breaths and gone straight to sleep. 

he’d woken up in his bed, in clean clothes. sasuke didn’t say a fucking word about it. 

________________

sasuke lets go of his hand once naruto stands up. he picks up their bowls and walks over to the kitchen, but he keeps glancing over his shoulder, like he’s checking that naruto’s still with him. 

“i’m not fucking crazy or anything.” naruto says to him plainly. just in case that’s what was going on. “i know sakura likes to diagnose us but i mean, my life is great! you’re here, and alive, and you live with me because you want to. what more could i ask for other than for you to stop leaving your shit all over the place, you messy bastard. i just have trouble sleeping sometimes. it’s a very common middle-aged problem.”

“you’re twenty-three, idiot.” 

sasuke puts the bowls in the rack to dry, and then turns to look seriously at naruto. he’s standing close enough to reach. he brings his hands up until they’re hovering by naruto’s waist and naruto sucks in a sharp breath. sasuke’s taller by about an inch, but naruto never notices until they’re standing like this and he has to look up just a little bit to look sasuke in the eye. 

and now he’s wiping his hands on naruto’s shirt. 

naruto swats him on the head and tries to dodge the wet hands. “-the fuck? asshole.” 

“hn.” sasuke grabs the front of his shirt and pushes him against the sink. there’s water everywhere. now the back of naruto’s shirt is wet, too. naruto is looking anywhere but at sasuke and sasuke is looking directly at him. 

it looks like he’s going to say something. it would be kind of weird if sasuke decided to slam naruto up against the sink just for the vibe. 

sasuke clenches his shirt tighter and then just lets go. he smooths the wrinkles that he’d left gingerly, shaking out the material and straightening the sleeves like naruto’s not wearing an ichiraku ramen t-shirt that’s at least three sizes too big. 

“naruto,” he says, finally, looking right at naruto’s neck. “i’m not- i’m not the right person for this.” sasuke takes a deep, slow breath. his shoulders rise and fall but his gaze doesn’t waver.

sasuke’s nervous. 

and then sasuke turns around sharply and stalks out of the kitchen, probably trying to maintain some semblance of the “aloof bad boy” vibe that’s never once worked for him. at least on naruto.

except he’s walking toward naruto’s room, and he doesn’t even make it past the fridge before he’s glancing back to make sure naruto’s right behind him. naruto snickers a bit, but he doesn’t say anything about it. 

it’s something new he’s been trying. if he’s quiet for long enough, sasuke does stuff naruto would never get to see otherwise. like talk about his day with no prompting. or make ramen for dinner, voluntarily. 

or sneak into naruto’s bed at night. 

sasuke shifts so that they’re walking side by side, and his hand twitches. naruto doesn’t look down. but he thinks that maybe sasuke wants to hold his hand. 

they get to the doorway of naruto’s room, and sasuke pauses abruptly. his hands are hanging loose at his sides, and his hair is half-flattened from where he was leaning against the wall when they ate dinner. 

sasuke’s looking right at him, waiting.

naruto wants to say something. anything. so he shoves his hands in his pockets and bites the inside of his mouth. he glances down and catches sight of sasuke’s fingers, clenched tight enough that the knuckles are white.

“it’s you.” naruto sucks in a breath, startled. sasuke definitely notices. “i’m going to make it work because it’s you.” 

“the fuck does that mean?” naruto asks, but sasuke’s already walking away. 

“i need to go brush my teeth.” 

________________

naruto’s tucked into his sheets with the lights turned off by the time sasuke slips into his room. sasuke lingers at the door for a moment, and naruto turns over the covers in invitation. 

“you coming in or what?” he murmurs, and sasuke’s sliding into the space next to him before naruto’s even finished speaking. 

they lay there, side by side. it’s much more awkward now that both of them are awake. 

“hey,” naruto begins. 

“shut up and go to sleep.” 

________________

naruto dreams, despite himself. 

he’s not sure what started them. they are quiet dreams, usually. it’s how he feels after he wakes up that’s the problem. 

tonight he dreams of his old apartment. 

he stays out a little too late, and comes home when it’s just getting dark, the shadows falling long and ominous across the room. his apartment always smelled like something rotten, either because of what was in his fridge or the sewage from outside. the smell rushes him the moment he opens the door, but what hits him harder is the fear that settles in his stomach. he has to psych himself up to walk in, and every little motion makes him jump. he runs to crawl in his bed, but he can’t close his eyes. he shifts uncomfortably to one side, and then the other, but the overwhelming fear of something watching him behind his back forces him to flip violently over to the other side to check. 

he used to spend whole nights like that, and he wakes up from those dreams with the fear sitting heavy in his chest. 

he always wakes up in a rush, fast enough that his body won’t listen even if his mind’s awake. 

tonight is the same. 

he’s falls out of his dream but he can’t open his eyes. he can’t feel himself breathing. he can’t move. he can feel someone watching him and he’s forcing past it as hard as he can and he’s still there, he can’t move, can’t breathe- 

sasuke’s chakra flows through him and naruto is standing before he even sucks in a breath. sasuke’s turned on his side, facing him. 

“lay down,” sasuke asks. his eyes are closed. 

naruto sinks down onto the bed slowly, sitting with his knees pressed up against his chest. he can’t bring himself to lay down. he can’t bring himself to close his eyes, not even to blink. he takes each breath carefully.

sasuke rolls onto his stomach and pushes himself up onto his elbows, turning his head to glare mildly at naruto, eyes only half open. the moon is bright tonight, and a strip of light falls across sasuke’s hair, making it very clear that he has a lot of wispy baby hairs. there’s a little halo around his face. 

naruto blinks. 

obviously the revelation that sasuke has the ability to banish his night terrors is more important than the revelation that sasuke looks cute when he’s half-asleep and not trying very hard to be awake. obviously. 

“what was that?” naruto demands. his voice is raspy and soft and it might even tremble a little. 

sasuke squints at him. and then just closes his eyes. 

“how did you know i was awake? how did you wake me up? are you gonna fucking answer or what?” 

“naruto,” sasuke begins, and something flips in naruto’s stomach at the sound. sasuke’s dropped back down, one arm tucked under his head, the other one reaching blindly out towards him. a sloppy hand lands on his knee, and tries in vain to push it down. 

“lay down.” it’s dangerously close to a whine. 

naruto flops down onto his stomach, throwing out his arms and legs in every direction. his forearm is on sasuke’s face. “dude.” naruto flaps his hand a bit, going for peak annoyance. sasuke interrupts him before he can get another question in. 

“just say thanks and pass out, dead last. we can talk about it in the morning.” 

naruto turns his head to face sasuke, chew him out properly. he immediately regrets his whole life. 

sasuke’s way closer than he’d thought. 

“thanks.” he blurts out, and it sounds more genuine than he fucking meant. naruto rolls onto his back, intending to put some space between them. 

“your chakra.” sasuke says. his voice is kind of muffled. probably because his forehead is pressed into his arm and he’s talking directly into his pillow. “it gets- stuck. i feel it every night. the whole world probably feels it.” 

naruto doesn’t know if he’s grateful or mad. 

“do you know what happens to me?”

sasuke’s back rises and falls three times before he answers. 

“no.” sasuke’s head is still in his arm prison. “but i can guess.” it feels like sasuke’s waiting for something. a reaction, maybe. naruto turns his head in the other direction and throws his arm across his eyes. 

sasuke’s quiet. 

________________

naruto manages to lie still with his eyes closed for a grand total of two minutes and nineteen seconds before he freaks. he can feel sasuke’s chakra but his mind is running circles, and by the time he snaps his eyes open he’s convinced that there’s someone on the other side of the bed watching them, waiting until naruto’s guard is down to suck his blood and steal sasuke’s eyes. 

he leans over to look over his side of the bed, and then before he can think better of it, he’s leaning over sasuke to check his side of the bed too. 

sasuke waits until he’s flat on his back again before he moves. sasuke’s head is settled on naruto’s shoulder before he realizes that sasuke just climbed entirely on top of him. 

sasuke’s baby hair is tickling his skin. 

sasuke bumps the top of his head into naruto’s chin. “is this helping?” sasuke brings a hand up to rest in naruto’s hair, stroking softly at the skin right above his ear. “i know it helped before.” 

naruto breathes in one, two, three breaths. 

“you’re fucking heavy.” he mumbles.

he feels sasuke’s mouth twitch against his chest, but sasuke’s shoulders are tense and his hand drops from naruto’s hair onto the pillow. 

he hasn’t answered the question, after all. 

and this is- this is not what they’re like. naruto wonders, fleetingly, if this is another one of those things that people who grew up with a family know about. the hand sasuke has clenched in the sheets makes him think that sasuke’s a little out of his depth. 

naruto sets one hand on sasuke’s back, flat between his shoulder blades. he leans his head into sasuke’s palm. 

sasuke’s shoulders loosen, and sasuke resumes what he was doing. 

naruto matches his breathing, inhaling and exhaling in time with the breaths he can feel against his chest. sasuke shifts, and naruto wraps both his arms around sasuke’s waist, holding him tight. 

sasuke exhales softly. it’s almost a laugh. he moves his ankle to hook onto naruto’s leg. “loosen up a bit, dumbass. i’m not going anywhere.” 

it’s not embarrassing. it’s not. naruto loosens his grip, but he keeps his arms circled around sasuke. sasuke tucks the arm not in naruto’s hair under the pillow. 

“i’ll be up for a bit,” sasuke whispers, after long minutes of silence. naruto feels the words against his neck. “i can keep watch.” 

naruto falls asleep. 

________________

**Author's Note:**

> can chakra even get stuck ... never made it past the chuunin exams so idk lol 
> 
> pretty much just self-indulgent softness here ... wishing sasuke would pin me to the ground so that i could take a nap. lmk if you liked it ! might post some more of my soft .txt files


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